using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
don't judge my taste in strippers
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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