She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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