I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
