I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I supernannyed him into submission
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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