dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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