i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
