So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
