Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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