we have officially lost it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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