As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
