hotel room ftw
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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