we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
