you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
