I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
