Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
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IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
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I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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