I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
