Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
