You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
