the day after is always just damage control
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize