Having a random hookup so left but love u
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
