There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
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he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You are a genius and a whore.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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