That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
