well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize