After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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