Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
