am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
