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Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
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