I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?