Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again