I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
