She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
