Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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