Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
handjob tips. give me some.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
