Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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