I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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