I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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