So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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