i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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