Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
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We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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