i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
