Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
