What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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