Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
