Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
