I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You can't just leave with hair like that
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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