Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
