It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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