Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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