No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
