Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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