oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
where are my eyebrows?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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