Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
