Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize