my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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