apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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