that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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